I am in the middle of a bit of a flood of thoughts. My head is swimming with thoughts that what I want to write about. I can’t make up my mind on what to write and I certainly don’t have enough energy to write about all of them. So much so that I am now beginning to lose those thoughts. Usually I am on the other end of the spectrum where there is the urge to write and a half thought in my head which I flog for all its worth. I flog it because I know that thought will enable me to get on this path which I love. I love it because I don’t know where I am going to end up. The end just reveals itself to me when the time is right. Until then I am happy to beat around the bush, go around the garden path and sing around the trees.

As always when I have a surfeit of thoughts in my head I want to connect all of them, almost like different stars in a galaxy, and make it into a constellation. A random constellation which will dissappear with the night just like my thoughts. And I sincerely believe there exists this underlying connection which connects all these seemingly disparate thoughts. I believe there exists this parallel world where all these are connected. Except I can never find it.  But that doesn’t , shouldn’t, deter me from trying to find it. Because that to me is the point of it all and there is always a bigger, hidden, point than the one that meets the eye. I have always admired people who can see that point and express it.

I understand scientists in Germany are going to fire up this giant particle accelerator which will recreate the Big Bang. I wonder if we have to go all the way back to the Big Bang to understand why we act the way we do.  I wonder if we really can learn from the Big Bang , when we don’t seem to be able to learn from the past couple of centuries. I wonder why we react to a current event as if it is has happened for the very first time in the history of mankind. Why we don’t see that the event, in most cases, is not the problem itself but only one of the many manifestations of the problem. Why instead of tacking the event, can we not address the original problem. Or tackle the event on your way to tackling the problem.

I wonder why we are like this. Or rather, I am afraid to say why I think we are like this. I am afraid I might be right.  If they were any human beings around at big bang I wonder if they would be any different than us.

Advertisements